By Erica Broer
The weekend after I got married, I hiked solo for 38.5 miles in the summer heat across Catalina Island. While my husband Ben was in Lake Tahoe for his older brother’s bachelor party, I made a commitment to myself to continue engaging in the activities I loved after marrying a man with many passions of his own. I felt it was deeply important for me to retain my individual identity while being in a lifelong partnership.
The Trans-Catalina Trail (TCT) requires planning. Camping reservations serve as hiking permits, so I needed to decide how far I would walk each day and reserve spots at those campsites. There are only five campsites on the trail, and they’re small: Hermit Gulch has 40 tent sites, Black Jack has 10 sites, Little Harbor has 26, Two Harbors has 47, and Parsons Landing has 8.
I also needed to select locations and times for the ferries. The Catalina Express goes to and from San Pedro, Long Beach, and Dana Point on the mainland and Avalon and Two Harbors on the island. San Pedro is the only port that takes passengers to Avalon, where I planned to start the hike, and offers return from Two Harbors, where I planned to end the hike.
I drove from the one-bedroom apartment in East Hollywood, where my husband and I lived, to San Pedro, parked my car in the lot by the port, and rode the 8 a.m. ferry to Avalon. As the ferry pulled into the harbor, sunlight made the ocean sparkle, sailboats floated on the water, and the round Casino dominated the waterfront architecture with its white facade and red roof.
I walked for 1.5 miles on a paved road, past a big golf course and a closed Bird Park, to Hermit Gulch Campground. I continued for 10.7 miles to Black Jack Campground. The first two miles were steep uphill before I reached the ridge. The principal colors of the landscape were sage and gold, but wildflowers added splotches of bright color: cactus with yellow and orange blossoms, purple flowers of black sage, red coast Indian paintbrush. I saw a beautiful rock with a dark imprint of algae that looked like a cave painting and realized, ‘This was once all under water.’
I passed a man on the trail who said, “With that pack, I respect you.” I was flattered, then annoyed with myself for caring about the respect of a stranger. I didn’t wish to admit it, but one reason I did the TCT was because I cared about Ben’s respect. Though I was hiking for my own pleasure, I also wanted to show him I was physically strong and capable of walking and camping on my own.
I watched a buffalo sleep in the sun, his tail twitching to keep the flies away. Quail ran from one side of the trail to the other, head plumes bobbing. A deer stood majestically at the entrance to Black Jack Campground but ran into the distance as I approached. I found a fox skull with perfectly intact eye sockets, snout, and teeth and put it in a sealed plastic bag in my backpack. I began to worry it might carry disease, but as I drifted to sleep in my tent, I felt it was protecting me. People have worn bones and skulls as amulets since the beginning of time. I thought about an old boyfriend who was terrified of ticks, and how he always got them when we hiked, while I never did. It made me wonder if our fears manifest in reality. Did that mean if we had no fears, nothing bad would ever happen to us? I tried not to be afraid that marriage would cause me to forget who I was before merging with another person.
Day two, I hiked 13.5 miles from Black Jack to Two Harbors. I hit the trail by 7:30 a.m. because I wanted to stop at the Airport in the Sky, so called because it’s near the highest point on the island. I admired its white hangar and four-story tower before going inside to order coffee and a cookie. Back on the trail, I met a man from Montreal, and we walked together to Little Harbor. He also camped at Black Jack the night before, arriving even earlier than I had. We talked about having so many hours at camp, and how we couldn’t account for the time. Neither of us ever felt we had that much time to do nothing in our lives off the trail. I thought about wanting more time with Ben: to be together, do all the things we want to do, do nothing. And also wanting more time for myself: to do the things that fulfill me and make me who I am. On the beach at Little Harbor, I took off my shoes and stood in the water, the cold salty ocean making my feet feel good.
Fog rolled in on my way to Two Harbors, a welcome shield from the heat, not thick enough to block my views of the vast ocean. I came upon a hammock hanging between two trees and napped for a couple hours before descending into Two Harbors. From my campsite, I heard waves crashing on the rocky shore below, music from a DJ in the little town, voices of other campers. Whereas Black Jack was in the interior of the island, Two Harbors was on the water. The town of Two Harbors is much smaller and less developed than Avalon. The “two harbors” refer to Isthmus Cove, where the ferry docks and the sandy Two Harbors Beach stretches along the coast, and Catalina Harbor, which is more closely surrounded by land on two sides. I watched the sun set from Two Harbors Beach, clouds turning the ocean pink and gold.
Day three, I hiked 14.3 miles in a loop from Two Harbors to Parsons Landing back to Two Harbors. Parsons Landing is a secluded cove on the western end of Catalina Island. I was grateful to have the rugged beach to myself. I sat on the gold sand and leaned against a rock cliff that provided shade, watching small waves lap the shore, listening to the line hit the mast of a sailboat. I wondered if it was a universal fear that marriage required giving up your identity, and realized it was my choice to join my life with the person I love. I had enjoyed hiking and camping by myself for a few days, nothing between me and the sky, but I knew I would have enjoyed it more with Ben. I didn’t need to fight to keep my identity: in fact, Ben loved me because of who I am. I wanted to share my whole self with him and experience life together.
I walked on West End Road from Parsons Landing back to Two Harbors. The ocean was turquoise and so clear I could see through it: bright gold garibaldi, kelp like mermaid hair. I rode the 6:35 p.m. ferry from Two Harbors back to San Pedro.
One year after getting married, Ben and I returned to Catalina Island to celebrate our anniversary. It was magical to be back, this time with him. We hiked the first two miles of the TCT, called the Garden to Sky Trail because it starts in the Botanical Garden, and slept in our tent at Hermit Gulch Campground. One thing I’ve learned in my first year of marriage is, the best way to hold onto myself is to fully express who I am to my husband. A core part of my identity is my love of the outdoors, and I feel lucky to have a partner who feels the same way.
